“For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law, that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law (not being without law toward God, but under law toward Christ), that I might win those who are without law; to the weak I became as weak, that I might win the weak. I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some” (1 Corinthians 9:19-23).
Paul teaches us here that when we can practice a liberty and thereby help our influence on others for the gospel’s sake, we ought to do it. One such liberty is the practice of good etiquette, as long as that etiquette is within the bounds of what pleases God (Acts 5:29). Etiquette is defined as “the practices and forms prescribed by social convention or by authority” (AHD, 1992, p.631). The Christian will be concerned with good manners in the society he lives in. In many places still in our society, we may think of things like using the word “please” or holding the door open for someone behind us. Why would we knowingly want to step outside of what is good and excellent manners and risk the dimming of our light and the loss of the savor of the salt we are to be?
While those things are important, please consider some godly etiquette that is prescribed in the Bible. Consider some things Christians are instructed to do – some things that apply to our coming together.
To the saints in Rome, Paul wrote, “Greet one another with a holy kiss. The churches of Christ greet you” (Rom 16:16). We should not be surprised to find similar instruction in the letters to the Corinthians, Thessalonians, and Titus, as well as 1 Peter and 3 John. This word greet means “to salute one, greet, bid welcome, wish well to” (Thayer). The kiss in that culture was “a sign of fraternal affection,” and “Christians were accustomed to welcome or dismiss their companions in the faith” (Thayer). A kiss was that culture’s mode of expressing that welcome; the mode varies by culture. If we will be faithful to this duty, we will practice what is customary and expressive of brotherly welcome and care to one another. It is not simply a suggestion but a command. Christians who are interested in following apostolic teaching will show a warm welcome to their brethren, and if they are not accustomed to it by tradition or upbringing, they will learn it. Being a Christian and all that it entails is taught and learned and then put into practice.
Philippians 2:1-4 teaches Christians to look out for the interests of others. Gal. 6:2 teaches Christians to bear one another’s burdens. Rom. 12:10 teaches Christians to be “kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.” Eph. 4:29 teaches us to speak things that are good for necessary edification to impart grace to the hearers. While these verses must not be limited to when the church comes together, they certainly include it. How can this be accomplished except by making a deliberate effort to welcome and talk to one another and show interest in knowing one another?
And what about welcoming and showing care and interest toward visitors in the assembly? If they are brethren, the Bible tells us to love the brotherhood. For those who are not brethren, the Bible teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves; we should show our interest in leading them to Christ.
We cannot be passive about this. Ask yourself: Am I practicing what God wants me to do in the realm of greeting one another and showing interest in knowing one another so that we can give help to and receive help from one another? -Larry Jones